A Kai-Kai Love Story

You may be wondering how umusbong sa Earth ang beauty ng Dragzilla. Kahit keber kayo, we’ll tell you anyway.

Kung may Adam and Eve sa story of Creation, sa Dragzilla, ang Eba namin si Ms. Betty La Borta, while our Adan is none other than a boy named “Sam.”

Sam is an Ilonggo native from the province of Negros Occidental, and for some reason, lahat ng Ilonggo pinsan nya. That’s just the charm he has. When he was younger, or when Betty met him, he was at the prime of his youth. Gifted with a pretty face and lanky body, he was super fair, courtesy of Likas Papaya soap. Hindi pa naiimbento ang glutathione, maputi na si Sam, and unknown to us, that was actually a major clue on his gender preference. Yes, Sam, after all these years, turned out to be one of us. But before we made that discovery, Ms. Betty thought all the while that sya na yung soulmate nya, as in the guy meant for her and kasama nya pagtanda. But in life, nothing really goes straight as expected (pun intended).

So before nagladlad si Sam, there was the unbeatable tandem of Betty and Sam. Kung ang setting ng meeting nila Adam and Eve was the Garden of Eden, Betty and Sam first came across each other in another garden within the city, which we shall call Green Valley. Betty is one go-getter, so the moment na nakita nya si Sam, pinursue na nya to, and from then on, naging sila na.

Sam is a blue collar worker. He works as a merchandiser or sales clerk sa mga mall, starting with Isetann Recto (tama ba Ms. Betty?). At dun na nag-start ang paglago ng family nila Betty and Sam.

Lahat ng mga co-workers ni Sam na gwapo (???) and game sa inuman and chorvahan with PSGs, sinasama nya sa mga date nila ni Betty, at nakasanayan na ang practice na ito kaya naging masaya ang mga gimik nila, especially for Betty. Imagine, with her pulutong of young boys na karag-karag ng baklita eh di ang haba ng hair ni Betty. But, since the malls impose a contractual system of employment, hanggang 6 months lang lagi ang mga friendships na ito. So hindi lang de-lata ang may expiration date, pati ang mga boys nina Sam and Betty.

From being assigned to one mall to the next, mas lalong nag-grow ang mga anak ng dalawa; may umaalis may pumapalit naman. Yung mga friends nila na nalipat sa ibang mall, gagawa naman ng sariling group, networking ba. Until one such time, naisip ni Betty na why not isama ang kanyang mga sisters na sila Rio at Randiva sa mga gimik na ito.

This went on and on. Every week, not just once but twice to at least four times ang gimik ng mga vakla with the mall boys. Sa mga videoke, boarding house at iba pang venue, minsan out of town pa, karay karay ng mga vakla ang kanilang mga boys.

Until one such Christmas season, which was in the year 2007, naisip ng 3 vakla na mag-mount ng performance for the boys, and not just any other performance, mind you, but a mind-boggling one. Enter Dragzilla’s original Drag Mother, na tawagin na lang nating si Mommy. Owner sya ng isang bar sa Orosa St. Malate which the group frequents. Mommy turns out to be a promoter for Japan, coz dati uso pa yung pag-form ng groups of entertainers para ipadala sa Japan. And since that time naghigpit na ang land of Ms. Universe Rio Mori (my namesake), ayun laocean deep ang career ni Mommy at nahinto ang promotion business nya.

So when we reserved the entire venue para sa Christmas party namin, Mommy jumped at the chance to help us mount our first drag show. Para syang bata na galak na galak na bihisan ang mga vakla. Na-challenge ba lalo na kasi on the heavy side ang star performer namin na si Randiva eh, ang liliit ng costumes nya. Ayun, nung nilabas ni Mommy isa-isa ang mga feather boa, wig, costumes na nagkikintaban sa sequins, ayun kuminang din ang mga mata namin. Parang may nabuhay na babae sa loob ng aming mga pamhintang pagpapakalalaki.

The show was a fabulous success. We had around 70 guests – all boys – na naaliw sa mga numbers namin, kasi first time nila kami nakita na nakadamit-velat. Randiva had 3 costume changes, first as Marimar or a Conga queen, then as an Arab princess, and third as a Vegas showgirl. I had 3 costume changes din kasi naiingit ako jejeje. First as an ambiguous Conga dancer, then as a diva singer, and third as another Vegas showgirl na sinubukang i-upstage si Randiva by (accidentally) removing her wig jejeje. Uso na pala ang pagka-fierce nung time na yun even before Jealous of my Boogie.

The following year, 2008, I was celebrating my 25th (cough, cough) birthday. And to make it more momentous, I decided to organize a mini-drag show of my own. We held it in a bar in Bocobo, Malate for a smaller number of guests, which included our girl friends na na-shock sa aming paglaladlad. On the day of our performance, I assigned one of our friends, si “Ms. Joyce” na magpagawa ng tarpaulin. And when we unfurled it, ang nakalagay “Dragzilla II: The Aftershock” sa title. Ms. Joyce actually was the one who christened us with our group name which has stuck with us eversince. And Ms. Betty, who was at the time hesitant to do drag, started with an ambiguous look. Nag-inarte pa lola nyo bibigay rin pala sa drag bug.

And there was no stopping us from then on. Every Christmas since, we’ve held a Dragzilla drag show. 2008 xmas was “Dragzilla 3: Triple Threat” in a bigger venue along Roxas Blvd. By that time Betty was on full drag as well.

2009 xmas was “Dragzilla 4: Four-Play @ Forbest”

Our latest performance was during the wedding reception of Ms. Joyce. That was “Dragzilla 4.5: Ikakasal Ka Na.”

Next stop? “Dragzilla V: Viva La Diva!” on Dec. 22 this year.

So what happened naman to Betty and Sam? Ayun, they eventually called it quits after some 7 years of being together, kasi nga hindi na ma-stand ni Betty na sisterette din pala ang dyowa nya, which in drag language means “KAI-KAI” or two drag queens na nagchochorvahan. It’s sad, but for us, everything in life happens for a reason. And kahit may pagkapasaway si Sam, we are acknowledging his contribution to Dragzilla, because without him, wala lahat ng fabulousness na itoh.

O diva ang saya ng kwento namin? Sorry na lang kayo kasi for a limited audience lang ang shows namin. We do these things for the heck of it, and to express our creativity as (filinggerang) artists. If some day for some reason sumikat kami (mangyari kaya to?) eh di that’s a bonus na lang. But for now, Dragzilla will remain an ultra-exclusive secret show for a few lucky boys who are sure to get enchanted by 3 goddesses on the merriest time of the year.

Live, Love and Believe! Mwah3x

Mook-ap ala Dr. Frank-n-Furter

hey dragons, musta na u? for this posting, i want to share with you some make-up tips to get a diva look ala Tim Curry's Dr. Frank-n-Further character sa Rocky Horror Picture Show, which appears below:

as you can see, fierce ang lola tim curry mo dito. 1970s pa ang look na ito but it can still be used to this day because drag looks are just classic!

after na-apply nyo na ang foundation and concealer nyo (make sure nag-ahit kayo para maiwasan ang 4 'o clock shadow), you can start with the eyes. the look that we are going for is just dr. frank-inspired, so mas bonggacious sa makeup na itech at mas makulay.

so for the eyes, use a dark eyeshadow to cover the lid all the way to the brow. for the highlight, use darker shade on the lid and a lighter one for the crease such as light blue. line both top and bottom of the eyes with a liquid eyeliner. then draw in the brows in an arc shape using a liquid eyeliner for a shimmery effect.  as you can see below, di na kailangan ng glue stick for the brows kasi dark naman sha enough to be covered. and of course for extra effect, we used a pink false eyelash both on the top lash and below para super bongga ang look:

You can also contour your nose, using a brown shade or pencil tapos smear nyo na lang. Tapos for effect, add some yellows around the nose and under the eyes. eto yun:

odva ang taray instant nose lift for randiva! again, for the cheeks naman you can blush your cheekbones with a pinkish base tapos you can blend this with the yellow blush para exciting, eto yun:

and then we go to the lips. usually it's dark and red for dr. frank, but for randiva, we used a pinkish shade highlighted by a dark red pencil drawn around the lips. we usually use this style lagi sa makeup namin, madali lang naman just trace the outline of the lips using a liner with a darker shade than your lipstick. eto yun:

ayun, konti pang blending and voila! eto na sha:

odva ang ganda ni randiva? anong panama sa kanya ni she-male and ms twinkle perez?

Live, Love, and Believe! Mwah3x

Sucker for Lingam

Every drag queen has her own way of de-stressing, and for me, it's a trip to the spa... o sya, sige na nga, sa massage parlor.

Not really naman. I'd always prefer a legit spa over the sleazy kind. Kasi naman hello, if I want a happy ending, pwede naman sa mga pulutong ng boys ko (cough, cough, cough) ma-experience yun dva? But no, I'd really rather have a hard massage to knead away all the stress from my gorgeous body.

I always go to MTO in Malate or Timog because their masseurs are really trained in reflexology.  Saka legit yun kaya walang (cough, cough, cough) extra service dun.  One way of telling na legit ang isang spa? Kung may velat na therapist, and believe me, madami talaga velat dun. Tapos yung owner, si Ms. Mercy na kamag-anak yata ni Vicky Belo, laging nakabantay yun, nakaupo sa isang massage chair with her laptop, siguro may ka-webcam jejeje.

Anyways, muriatic lang kasi sa MTO kaya bet ko dun. For members, 350 lang ang 1-hour swedish massage sa Malate while sa Timog, 250 lang keber kung member or non-member.  Basta try nyo na lang. I recommend Johmar, Richard, and Ronnie sa Malate while sa Timog naman, try nyo si Sonny and Rico. Wag nyo kunin si Rollie kasi laging sumisinghot yun habang nagmamassage, hindi na nawala yung sipon nya forever kasi allergic daw sya sa oil (laboh mo men).

Ok din ang Wensha because of the wet area na may aktibidades (if you're into that) and the buffet, pero mahalia at 680.  I also go to John Matthew Salon & Spa along E. Rodriguez na wala as in walang ES, pero love ko ang masseurs dun coz magaling talaga especially sila Don and Tata.  Medyo sensual ang massage nila pero hanggang dun lang bibitinin ka lang and you can't do anything about it.  I dunno about other clients pero ako wala pa nag-offer ng ES sakin dun (cough, cough, cough uli). Nyura din at 250 per massage pero winner ang 600 na package which comes with a hair treatment, body scrub, and massage.

Ang latest discovery naman namin ni Betty ay ang mga franchise ng spas ngayon na ayon sa mga vakler forums ay di-nagpapahuli sa  ES sa mga massage parlors.  Nandyan ang Mont Albo, Phaen Boran, at Verde and Spada sa Manila. Sa Spada where I had my most recent massage, nalurkey ako sa receptionist na velat dahil inexplain talaga sakin ang kanilang FHM or For Him Massage and the controversial Lingam Massage na banned na yata sa Cebu.

Dialogue ni receptionist velat na walang kagatol-gatol tipong praktisado na araw-araw kakaexplain sa mga PSG: "Yun pong FHM (P500) ay massage na concentrated sa chest, groin and butt areas. Yung Lingam po (P1,200) concentrated sa prostate."  Side note: alam nyo ba na ang translation pala ng lingam is "wand of light" and it refers to the penis talaga. So ang weird lang sabi ni ate prostate daw ang focus, ewan.

To figure out for yourself kung ano talaga ang lingam massage, you can click on this site, which shows graphic images of the massage:

http://www.whitelotuseast.com/LingamMassage.htm

Alam ko talaga ang prostate nasa loob yun so inimagine ko na baka fingerin ako ng masseur. Eh di naman ako tulad nila Betty and Randiva na mahilig sa ganun. So natakot lola nyo and instead went for the FHM, besides mas nyura yun.

So ayun, I got this chaka masseur, and saw others na chaka doll din. Kasi naman morning yun mga 11 am yata (24 hrs and Spada) kaya baka di pa pumapasok ang mga yantawla nag therapist.  Anyways, ayun, what's to be expected? Ang masasabi ko lang, wala na yatang legit na spa ngayon.

Live, Love, and Believe! Mwah3x

Que Horror!

Much as I'd hate to admit it, I only recently watched the cult classic "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" which is a must among all drag queens, both amateur and professional. And yes, I only watched it because it was the theme for last week's Glee episode, so para maka-relate, I decided to download the movie first.

The moment I heard the theme song for the opening credits (Science Fiction/ Double Feature), I immediately fell in love with the whole thing! Lurkey talaga throughout the whole movie, and especially when unang ma-reveal si Dr. Frank 'n Furter played with fabuloushness by Tim Curry. Medyo awkward lang 'coz hindi nag-tuck ang lola mo during his first number, yung "Sweet Transvestite" so medyo may-I-dance din si tim curry junior during the song.

And then mas lalo akong na-lurkey nang lumitaw na si Rocky Horror, played by the yummylicious Peter Hinwood. Wearing tight gold trunks na talaga namang in-exag ang pagka-borta nya, the character's first sexual experience would be with another man! Ito namang si Dr. Frank, AC-DC ang drama, so after nya i-divirginize si Rocky, hala, hindi pa nakuntento ang lola mo at nakipag-do pa ng salisihan sa lead characters na sina Janet (Susan Sarandon) and Brad (Barry Bostwick, another bortalicious character na mas naka-antig sa puso[n] ni Ms. Randiva).

Back in the 1970s when it was first shown, I'm sure tumambling ang mga conservative because of the risque themes of this movie, and even the British play from which it was based on.  Imagine nga naman, it features the themes of bisexuality, premarital sex, cross-dressing, incest (ng magkapatid na aliens, sina Riff Raff and Magenta) and even the depiction of men as sex objects, at a time when everything was supposed to be innocent and dandy.  Ngayon siguro keber na lang ang mga makakapanood nito especially the young-ish crowd, but still, in the Philippines, especially the conservative segment, may shock factor pa rin ang Rocky Horror show.  (Like I wouldn't dare watch it with my Tatay, who's utterly clueless about my shenanigans as a female impersonator jejeje)

Which brings us to Glee.  I think ok naman as a tribute yung Rocky Horror Glee Show, not super outstanding but pwede na rin. Rather than being predictable and assigning the role of Dr. Frank to Kurt, the openly gay character of the show, the producers decided to let Mercedes, the African-American girl, play it instead.  I dunnot about you, but for me, hindi swak.  Kung ako si Ryan Murphy, maybe I'd rather have Mr. Schuester or Carl (the dentist) play that role instead.  Kaya nga tranny ang character noh, dapat lalake ang gaganap hindi velat (which is the issue of another Ru Paul show, "Drag U" na hate ni Ms. Betty -- more on that in a later posting).

Pero winner na rin ang episode dahil sa abs ni Chord Overstreet, who played the role of Rocky, and ni Mr. Schue. Si Finn din, first time nag-bare nang white boxers lang suot sa show.

So for those of you na gusto naman makita ang "creature" na tinatago ni Rocky Horror, namely si Peter Hinwood, you can google him na lang and you can see na bortang-borta talaga sya in his heyday. Here's a hint na lang hihihi:

Live, Love, and Believe! Mwah3x

Hail, Queen Rio!

Finally, it has happened to me. Diz iz it na po. Wala nang atrasan. This blog is the start of my chrysalis -- or sa mga tinatamad mag-google ng meaning ng word na itey -- my transformation into a butterfly.

Well, not exactly naman. I am one-third of a (reluctant) drag act called DRAGZILLA, which unfortunately for the rest of you humans, only a selected handful of Filipino boys, este beings, have witnessed.

I have been re-christened as Queen Rio D'Alto: the dancing diva, the fashion maven and makeup artist cum director and mother hen (yes, meaning punong abala lagi), and the prettiest and sexiest one (jejeje, sorry blog ko to baket bah).

My other sisters are Randiva Datinguinoo de Zuzuaregui, the artist formerly known as Ma. Cristina Fallseyelashes: the pinaka-kadiva-divahan, with the voluptuous body and killer voice that can rival Charice, Whitney Houston, Jennifer Hudson, Chaka Khan, Nina, Lilet, and She-Male (may she rest in peace).

Last but not the least is Ms. Betty La Borta: the blessed one. Blessed sa race (Chinese), blessed sa fortune (heir sa Chinese wealth nila), blessed sa intelligence (matalino talaga memorize nya ang capitals ng ibat-ibang bansa pati mga grammy at oscar winners pero hindi sya missologist kasi sobrang kabadingan na daw yun), blessed sa looks (magaling mangilatis at pinaka-nakakalusaw tumingin; hindi po sa ganda kasi ako nga yun), blessed sa attitude (pinakamatapang ang lolah mo, naka-survive na ng ilang beses sa kikil attempts ng mga shulvam), blessed sa hidden skills (may tinatago palang talent sa pag-split at pag-project sa music videos), and of course, blessed in size (borta daw sabi ng barakong friend nya na itatago natin sa pangalang Barbie).

To date, Dragzilla has done five sold-out private concerts (sige na nga, except for one: yung wedding ng friend namin mga 10 tao lang nanood. yung ibang guest nagsitakas na bago magstart ang drag show), four music videos (na friends lang din namin nakapanood), two Kuratatsu videos (hihihi bastus yun), and one album (konti lang din nakatiis makinig eventhough it's professionally recorded take note).

Our ultimate Drag Mother is none other than RU PAUL: ang supermodel of the world kuning na top drag queen sa US. Hate ko sha dati kasi mukha syang unggoy na may make-up, pero simula nang madiscover namin ang show na RUPAUL's DRAG RACE, ayun love ko na din sya. For those of you na walang idea about the show, it's a mix of America's Next Top Model, a little Project Runway and Survivor, plus Gandang Ricky Reyes (wala na me maisip na show about kabadingan). If you still haven't seen this show go na at magsearch sa internet at mga torrent sites. watch na kayo kasi tapos na yung 2 seasons and malapit na mag-start yung season 3.

This blog will be all about our exciting and fabulosang adventures as part-time drag queens, part-time working professionals, and full-time lovers of men (yes mga 'teh, masaya ang lovelife at sexlife namin at ipapangalandakan namin dito hanggang mamatay kayong lahat sa inggit, this message is for you:   Ms.   T_ _ _ _ _ _   P _ _ _ _ !)

So there. We look forward to making this blog (and soon the world) totally DRAG-A-LICIOUS!

(Go na watch na kayo ng rupaul's drag race mga vakla or else di kayo makaka-relate. Go!!!)

Live, Love, and Believe! Mwah3x